| Holy Fuckin Shit |
[15 Nov 2009|12:48am] |
It's been 4 years since I've said anything in this damn thing. Where do I begin?
Reading back on all this crap I laugh and think....wtf was I thinking...how old was I again?
It's funny how you think you feel a certain way but you don't...
Oh well moving on right, take the past, learn from it and move on with what you learned.
This journal was stupid...
Peace.
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| BLAH |
[06 Oct 2005|10:09pm] |
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Eh dont got nothing of interest to say....but yeah...I'm gonna go.
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| FUCK THIS SHIT |
[05 Oct 2005|10:11pm] |
" I left my heart open but you didnt understand, GO FIX YOURSELF!!!! I cant help you fix yourself but at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my life. I cant help you fix yourself but at least I can say I tried, I'm sorry but I gotta move on with MY OWN LIFE!"
HA HA I feel like that....so how's everyone tonight? I'm alright I can say I guess. How's life? ha ha it's kinda ok for me...Passing my classes trying my hardest in school getting ready to graduate and get out of hell hole madison. I shall never return to that hell hole...maybe for a visit but that's about it.
Lindsey's different. She's changed so much...why she's in my writing I dont know. I dont know what changed her...I still care about her she's my friend...but I feel that just my presence itself annoys her...*shrugs* and Ali....ha...I dont even know what to say there it feels like I annoy her too.
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| Ahhhhhhh |
[03 Oct 2005|04:02pm] |
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Ok so I was hanging (well not really hanging more like walking to class) with my el pasoin Nickie...and I dont know but we got on the subject of "how no one would want to date me" and she said she would...and I said "nu uh" and she said, "no I would" so I said, "alright we'll go on a date" and she said alright and junk....but anyways...yeah...we might start dating....I'm kinda worried because she's my friend and I dont want to fuck up that friendship...not only that but Ali....I love Ali so much and I'm still waiting...I'll never be confused about loving her...but I'm confused about dating another........AHHHHHH I'm so lost....
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[02 Oct 2005|10:52am] |
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wooo havent written in this shiznet forever...but hey I'm back and I plan on writing more on here....yeah I dont know who the fuck would read this but yeah...17 more days till my birthday!! woo hoo
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[17 May 2005|05:42pm] |
What up?!?!? Long time no write in here, I'm here chillin with Amanda and Shantelle I'll let them say something....
ye6tyuyswtgyaerwsthgetdsrwseyterdtrazhtyfyjhgf lyke omfg so sex!!!!1111teeen
That was Shantelle, here comes Amanda....
omg like add me on myspace kthxbai.
Wow, ok I'm done Updating....
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[10 Apr 2005|10:14am] |
HOLA. COMO ESTAN? MUY BIEN GRACIAS AAAAHHHH CABRON!
Oh my. I had a questionable amount of sleep. (love, Amanda)
Wow that was interesting. She's like laying right next to me on the floor and she looks dead, wow she's a hypocrite. That's sad. well yeah, anways Melissa's going to say something
que arribba perro!
Wow that was nice. anyways I'm done updating. Ok I'm lazy. Eh.
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[12 Mar 2005|05:50pm] |
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Wow, I noticed that I havent written shit in here. Well I have, but nothing important. I dont know, lately I'm at a loss for words. Hm. Ali's worried about my friends hating her. I dont like that my friends disrespect her. I hope they stop their childish remarks and start acting the age they are and not their shoe size. Um Yeah. I dont know what else to say. I'll maybe write in here tonight.
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| I dont know |
[05 Mar 2005|10:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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~*Truly Madly Deeply*~ Savage Garden |
] |
Hmm...Well I've had a boring day. Usually how all my weekends go. I just sat around doing nothing. I dont know what to type about. I dont know what to say.
Wait, I may have something.Maybe.
What's in my heart. I dont know.hmm. Love. Love is in my heart right now. I'm starting to see how it functions within me. How it functions within everyone. I mean, Life scares me. I dont know what the future holds for me. You go from being a baby to a grown adult who knows right from wrong. It's crazy that when you're five, the biggest problem you have is accidently breaking the yellow crayon and getting in trouble with a teacher.Or for A Teen the biggest problem is School, your boyfriend your girlfriend Did he cheat on you. Did she cheat on you.Then The problems of Adults, Bills, how you're going to find a way to live, find a way to support your kids and give them everything they want.Life is such a complicated thing.
But, what's life without love. Everyone feels it, everyone know's it. From that small child to that grown adult. Love is something we fear we'll never truly find, because sometimes we get so wrapped up in wanting a gf or a bf. But we forget that we have love all around us. Yeah it's cool to find that special someone. But just cause you havent found them, doesnt mean you should feel alone...feel...unloved. I mean...because there's always at least one person out there who must love you. One or maybe a whole group. Who knows.
It's hard sometimes though. I mean because Sometimes you confuse love with lust, with attachement,or even with obsession.What is love? Hmm. To me love is something that beats everything. It bleeds through walls that are built to block it. Let me put it simply.
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish and does not become angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. Love is not happy with evil. but is happy with the Truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts,always hopes, and always continues strong"
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
This is true. I mean, if you really love then you'll be patient, If you're really truly in love, and you know it, then it shouldnt make you jealous when you see your 'Honey/baby/sugar' (ect.) talking to that girl or boy. Why? Because you know that your 'Honey/baby/sugar' (ect.)is yours and only yours. Love is everything. Love should be the center of your world. That's what should make up life. Love should be life. Whether it be towards a kid, towards a parent, towards a husband, a wife, a girlfriend a boyfriend. Love will open your souls eyes to all. It will show you things that you would of never seen with your body's eyes.
"If the people we love are taken from us, the way they live on is to never stop loving them.Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."
- The Crow
But enough of me rambling, I should go now.
Hasta luego.
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| I Played Bekah All Night. |
[02 Mar 2005|08:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 accomplished |
] |
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music |
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~*Dont Take The Girl*~ Tim McGraw |
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Yeah that's my title. even though I didnt play Bekah. Although I should learn. See, I asked for Bekah about a year ago and I promised I'd learn to play her and I never did. Although I should learn like I said before. Yeah Bekah's cool, she's so black and white, I put stickers on her back. She's so cool. I'm so gonna learn how to play her I promise!
Yeah. But Today kind of sucked. But it's ok now. I'm going...hasta luego.
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| What more do you want?!?!?! |
[01 Mar 2005|09:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 stressed |
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| [ |
music |
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~*Monday morning Church*~ Alan Jackson |
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What more can I possibly do to prove love? What kind of hell must I walk through before she notices that I loved her. What more? It hurts that she doubts me so much. I loved her with all I was. She said I played with her. I think she's stupid. She always bitched at me and complained that I doubted her. When really? She doubted me. There's nothing I can do to please the girl. She literally makes me want to die. I want to just slit my throat to prove to her that I loved her. To prove to her that I was not willing to live without her. I hate that she does this. I hate that she doubts.
It's ok though, Bekah will help me. She's my best friend. We understand eachother in more ways then anyone. because we dont share our pains, our views in this world like everyone else. They accuse me of being in love with her. The tell me to save her from God knows what. But she's just my best friend. We have a bond there. A strong one. Ali complains about that. She says I played with her. (I know I said that before) and it pisses me off beyond belief to know that she said that. Because I didnt. I ruined a perfect relationship for her. I broke up with Bekah for her. I lost a trust I will never have fully again for her. I'm tired of her bitching bitching and bitching. This is my anger. After tonight I'll regret writing it so harshly. But since this is me right now I'm saying it.
Fuck you if you dont believe me! You shouldnt bitch because you caused more pain on me! You wouldnt let the fucking cut you made heal. Everytime it tried to, you fucking pealed the scab making it go deeper and deeper! WHY COULDNT YOU FUCKING LET IT SCAR?!?!!?
Why...Why do you have to hurt me?!?!?!!?!? HURT ME BY LEAVING....YOU MAKE ME WANT TO FUCKING SLIT MY THROAT. MAKE ME NOT WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE. I'M DONE TRYING TO PLEASE YOU, I CAN NEVER PLEASE YOU. I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. ALL I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO BE A FRIEND AS WELL AS A LOVER BUT IT WAS TO HARD FOR YOU. FUCK THIS SHIT, I'M DONE HAVE A FUCKING NICE LIFE. FALL IN LOVE WITH WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. THANK YOU FOR PLAYING WITH ME. I JUST WISH YOU THE BEST AND I PRAY AND HOPE THAT YOU NEVER COME ACROSS THE PAIN YOU CAUSED ME. EVER. FEEL FREE TO COME BACK TO MY LIFE WHENEVER YOU LIKE. BECAUSE LIKE I'VE SAID BEFORE. I'LL ALWAYS IN SOME WAY BE WAITING FOR YOU. UNLESS I SHOOT MYSELF IN THE FUCKING HEAD. GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Bekah, Amanda, Chrissy Jackie.....HELP ME!!! I've fallen...make me better. Help me up to my feet. I promise I'll learn how to walk again. Just help me. Manda I need you. You're all I got here in this hell hole the only physical body there. I can rest my head on your shoulder and cry. I can cry without feeling scared. I can cry without you judging me.
Bekah....you understand me. You always did. Our past haunts us because we were once one. But you're my friend and I know you'll be there when I call for you. Chrissy, My Liar. Help me. I should of listened to you. Listened to Amanda. I know...I just loved her so much. I still do. But since this isnt working out. I know this is me being bold but, Please, please help me. I love you all. And I give to you all what's left of me. Jackie, I ask the same of you. Help me. Please?! I beg you all....
GAWSH (That was for Lindsey, The Gawsh part I mean)
I cant do this anymore. HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
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| WANT WHAT WE CANT HAVE |
[28 Feb 2005|09:42pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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~*The Devil Went down to Georgia*~ Charlie Daniels Band |
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I want Lindsey Who wants Amanda, who wants Meagan. Therefore, I cant have lindsey cuz she's oggling Manda, but she cant have manda, cuz manda is oggling Meagan, and meagan is oogling manda back therefore leaving me and Lindsey screwed.
Lindsey's coming over tomorrow. She says we're going to take millions of pictures...again. And make my bed squeek...and maybe we'll call amanda to see if she wants to join. So the ryans belt will be bright 2morrow night...
Lindsey's looking for a job does any one have an opening. Because she's hott and the basken robins people are friggin idiots for not hiring her. Fuck you basken and robin fuck you!!!! Ok I'm done.
We are taking donations for a car, because after amanda leaves we wont have a showfer. LMAO I dont think I even spelled showfer right. but I'm spelling it the way it sounds to me. So FUCK OFF If you dont like it. Wow, I'm violent tonight. Verbally violent shall I say. *Lindsey bites my arm* Incase you havent noticed Lindsey is dictating to me so Her and I are the ones technically updating my journal. And lindsey wont shut up about amanda. So I'm going to get my dog to bite her face off. But not really. Lindsey's hott...love me. woo hoo. I'm an idiot. WOOOOOOOO HOOOO WE'RE GOING TO GO SEE TEGAN AND SARA AND LINDSEY'S GOING TO DO A THREE WAY KISS WITH THEM. Which technically it would be wrong considering the fact that they are sisters. Eww. I want to make out with Amber. Benson. Lindsey wants Shane! Yeah. Ok.
We're a big happy homo family. Lindsey said "Whatever I like" ok I'm done.
The End
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| The Entry... |
[23 Feb 2005|09:51pm] |
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mood |
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 Exotic |
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music |
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~*Rape Me*~ Nirvana |
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hi...I dont know what to say up in this thing....Just updating. I talked to Ali, things are going good, but I dont want to jinx it. Um...Amanda is awsome, it's gonna suck when she leaves me...but I got a few more months left with my best friend...and I'm gonna make the best of it...Umm...Yeah...I'm going now. Hasta la vista.. that was a fantastic entry...but really, adios. I'm mexican. GOD DAMMIT WHY CANT I STOP TYPING AHHHHHHH. Ok For real I'm done....bye...
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[20 Feb 2005|12:02pm] |
You are a Khaos angel. You are different from all
the rest. You are a special breed of angel,
prone to suffer in the world that you are in
now. No matter how much you try to believe that
your not special, you are. There is alot that
you want to do in this world. Khaos angels are
very dramatic, we tend to have the ability to
cheer people up no matter what the mood, and
hold in your emotions. You should be proud,
Khaos angels are very rare to find in this
world of ours... (and yes. you are a completely
different type. Hence the name
What Different Kind of Angel are you...? ( Anime-ish pics )
brought to you by Quizilla
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[10 Feb 2005|10:42pm] |
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I'm sick and it sucks...so yeah, I'm going away now. Hasta luego.
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| I swear, |
[08 Feb 2005|07:09pm] |
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Wow, I'm in a lot of pain...it hurts...I dont have much to say tonight...I'm outta here..
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| Make it Stop.... |
[07 Feb 2005|07:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sick |
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music |
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~Thanks For The Venom*~ My Chemical Romance |
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Today was good, I think. She's online right now. I'm shaking. God Help me Be strong! Give me strength. Help me Think of something else. When I see her online, When I know she's on...I start shaking horribly. I want to talk to her. To act like nothing happened...But things arent like that right now. No. We're through. God dammit Abby, remember she doesnt want you! She doesnt want you anymore! God dammit. Remember that. She left you.
Ok, so I have to start talking about something other than Ali. I got Laya Tomorrow. I love that Class. It's sorda kinda blow off but it's the best place to have fun. Yeah.
GOD DAMMIT! I'm alone. My mind cant wonder. Because if it does, it's just led to where she's at. I cant think of her, Thinking of her is torture. Torture's not good enough for me. Why she seperated us? I dont know. I dont know anything. I'm trying to Move on..I'm trying to be Ok.
God,
Tell her stop torturing me so much, Tell her to leave me. Tell her it hurts me to much to think of her. Tell her to stay away. To stay gone. Tell her to keep to herself. Tell her not to overwhelm me with her essence. Tell her to keep away from me! GOD!!! HEAR ME! Make this pain stop.....
I Have to go.
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| The SURVEY I Stole From Myra.................. |
[07 Feb 2005|07:37am] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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~*These Days*~ Rascal Flatts |
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YOU
[ .01. ] first name: Abigail
[ .02. ] middle name: Vivian
[ .03. ] last name: Leyva
[ .04. ] nickname(s): Abbz,Abzy, and a bunch of other junk.
[ .05. ] gender: Female
[ .06. ] birthday: October 19,1987
[ .07. ] height: Around 5'7
[ .08. ] hair color: Dark Brown
[ .09. ] eye color: Dark Dark Brown
[ .010. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: I got 20/20 vision baby!!
[ .011. ] do you have braces: not that I know of
[ .012. ] is your hair long or short: around to my shoulders
[ .013. ] where were you born: El Paso Texas
[ .014. ] current location: San Antonio Texas
[ .015. ] zodiac sign: Libra
[ .016. ] how many languages do you know: 2
[ .017. ] what language do you want to learn: Um...Latin
[ .018. ] bad habits: Biting my Lip
[ .019. ] piercing you have: My ears
[ .020. ] piercing you want: tongue and eyebrow
.021. ] tattoos you have: none
[ .023. ] today: Monday
[ .024. ] today's date: 2/7/05
[ .025. ] the time: 7:40 a.m.
[ .026. ] ready for a bunch more questions: Um...ok
FAMILY
[ .027. ] mother's name: Ciria
[ .028. ] father's name: Javier
[ .029. ] brother's name: Javier Jr. and Jesse
[ .030. ] sister's name: Priscilla
[ .031. ] favorite aunt: Probably...wait I dont have one
[ .032. ] favorite uncle: My Uncle Sal
[ .033. ] favorite grandparent: Abigail (Mom's Mom)
[ .036. ] worst relative: Um...Dad...sometimes
[ .037. ] best relative: Mom....
[ .038. ] do you get along with your parents: On Occasion
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: At times they do.
PETS
[ .040. ] do you have any pets: yeah, 2 dogs
[ .041. ] what are their names: Ruby, and Brownie
[ .042. ] what kind of animals are they: Dogs
SCHOOL
[ .043. ] are you still in school: yes...
[ .044. ] did you drop out: Not yet
[ .045. ] current GPA: prolly lower than required
[ .046. ] favorite grade: 12 lol
[ .047. ] least favorite grade: Kinder
[ .048. ] favorite teacher: Hadavi
[ .049. ] least favorite teacher: Ms. Lopez (That bitch)
[ .050. ] favorite subject: LUNCH
[ .051. ] least favorite subject: Umm...Algebra
[ .052. ] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: None...I starve
[ .053. ] play any sports on the school's team: Nope
[ .054. ] do/did you do any extracurricular activities:Nope
[ .055. ] are/was you popular: Depends on what type of popular you mean
[ .056. ] favorite dance: The one I never went to
[ .057. ] favorite memory: Umm When I met Bekah...that was great
[ .058. ] favorite memory you want to have: Finding someone
[ .060. ] most humiliating moment: I dont know
FAVORITES
[ .061. ] number: 8
[ .062. ] letter: A
[ .063. ] shoes: My DCs
[ .064. ] saying(s): "Nice" if that's even a saying
[ .065. ] TV show: BTVS
[ .066. ] sport: Basketball
[ .067. ] vegetable: I dont know
[ .068. ] fruit: Apple
[ .069. ] movie: The Breakfast Club, Pretty in pink, Sweet 16, White Chicks, umm...I have more
[ .070. ] magazine: COSMO GIRL but not really probably Blender
[ .071. ] actor: I dont like boys...at all...
[ .072. ] actress: Lindsey Lohan, Angelina Jolie and that's it...I think
[ .073. ] candy: Hersheys
[ .073. ] gum: Tridant.
[ .075. ] scent: Fruity HA I'M GAY
[ .076. ] candy bar: Snickers
[ .077. ] ice cream flavor: Orange Sherbert
[ .078. ] color: black
[ .079. ] season: Spring and Fall
[ .080. ] holiday: Christmas
[ .081. ] band:ALOT
[ .082. ] singer: Amy Lee, she's hott
[ .083. ] group: I have alot...
[ .084. ] rapper: Eminem
[ .085. ] type of music: All
[ .086. ] thing in your room: Alot of shit...
[ .087. ] place to be: Anywhere but in my mind...
[ .089. ] tv channel: Fuse..
[ .090. ] junk food: Doritos
[ .091. ] overall food: I dont know
[ .092. ] store: I dont shop much GOOD WILL
[ .093. ] hangout: Amanda's house..or my room
[ .094. ] fast food: Wendys or Mc Donalds
[ .095. ] restaurant: Red Lobster
[ .096. ] shape: triangle
[ .097. ] time of day: Night
[ .098. ] country: MEXICO EVEN IF I'M WHITE LMAO
[ .099. ] state: Dont know
[ .100. ] boys name: Umm...Joshua
[ .101. ] girls name: Rachel
[ .102. ] mall: The one in my city?
[ .103. ] video game: MARIO 3
[ .104. ] shampoo: Dove, or that other crap, Pantine Pro V
[ .105. ] board game: Chess
[ .106. ] computer game: I dont have one
[ .107. ] car: Mustang
[ .108. ] music video: Closer, by NIN
[ .109. ] swear word: FUCK
[ .110. ] word: DUMMY
[ .111. ] month: February
[ .112. ] cartoon character: Gir
[ .113. ] scary movie: The EXORCIST
[ .114. ] team: San Francisco 49ers
[ .115. ] possession: Phone..Computer...Video Camera
WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR
[ .116. ] eminem:I feel like killing someone
[ .117. ] dog: Ruby
[ .118. ] hot: Amy Lee...
[ .119. ] britney spears: SLUT
[ .120. ] nsync: boy band
[ .121. ] real world: TEXAS dont ask why
[ .122. ] orange: Umm...
[ .123. ] choice: I'M GAY BY CHOICE LMAO
[ .124. ] fuck: When?
[ .125. ] bisexual: Myra telling me to burn in hell
[ .126. ] black: My clothes
[ .127. ] ICQ: HUH?
[ .128. ] insane clown posse: Used to like them now they scare me
[ .129. ] linkin park: they're ok
[ .130. ] jack: THE RIPPER
[ .131. ] rainbow: GAYNESS WOOOO
[ .133. ] cucumber: wtf?
[ .134. ] shark: your ass getting bit
[ .135. ] lighthouse: SEA WORLD
[ .136. ] bat: your face!
[ .137. ] leather: Cows...
[ .138. ] whip: BONDAGE
[ .139. ] America: CAN KISS MY ASS
[ .140. ] water: WET T-SHIRT CONTEST
[ .141. ] volcano: LAVA
[ .142. ] rock or rap: All…
[ .143. ] rock or pop: All...
[ .144. ] rock or r&b: All
[ .145. ] rock or metal: Rock
[ .146. ] rap or pop: All..
[ .147. ] rap or r&b: All..
[ .148. ] rap or metal: All....
[ .149. ] pop or r&b: THIS IS PISSING ME OFF
[ .150. ] pop or metal: GOD DAMMIT
[ .151. ] r&b or metal: GOD DAMMIT FUCK THIS SHIT
[ .152. ] linkin park or limp bizkit: Linkin park
[ .153. ] tool or korn: Korn
[ .154. ] selena or jennifer lopez: Selena
[ .155. ] hot or cold: HOT
[ .156. ] winter or summer: SUMMER
[ .157. ] spring or fall: whats the difference?
[ .158. ] shakira or britney: shakira shes hotter
[ .159. ] icp or eminem: Eminem
[ .160. ] marilyn manson or rob zombie: manson
[ .161. ] kittie or garbage: kittie
[ .162. ] mtv or vh1: VH1
[ .163. ] buffy or angel: Buffy
[ .164. ] dawson's creek or gilmore girls: gilmore girls
[ .165. ] football or basketball: basketball
[ .166. ] summer olympics or winter olympics: None I Dont watch it....
[ .167. ] skiing or snowboarding: Donno never done such a thing
[ .168. ] rollerblading or skateboarding: skateboarding
[ .169. ] black or white: black
[ .170. ] orange or red: Red
[ .171. ] yellow or green: green
[ .172. ] purple or pink: eww...ok pink
[ .173. ] slipknot or mudvayne: slipknot
[ .174. ] hot topic or pac sun: They both annoy me now a days
[ .175. ] inside or outside: Inside
[ .176. ] weed or alcohol: None, I'm a good kid
[ .177. ] cell phone or pager: cell phone! wtf? pagers like SO 1990s
[ .178. ] pen or pencil: pencil
[ .179. ] powerpuff girls or charlie's angels: The Angels
[ .180. ] scooby doo or dino: Dino
[ .181. ] dragon ball z or pokemon: Dragon Ball Z and Myra you're a fag too!!!
[ .182. ] star wars or star trek: None...Fag..lmao
[ .183. ] tattoos or piercings: Both
[ .184. ] prep or punk: Labels suck
[ .185. ] slut or whore: I'm a Slut according to Bekah
PRIVATE LIFE
[ .186. ] do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: Nope
[ .187. ] do you have a crush: Um sorda...
[ .188. ] do you love anyone right now: Yes
[ .189. ] have you ever been in love: Hell yes
[ .190. ] how many people have you liked: probably 6 in my life time
[ .191. ] who was your first crush: Bekah...me and Myra got something in common lol
[ .192. ] how many hearts of have you broken: a lot...unfortunatly...and not purposely
[ .193. ] how many people broke your heart: Two...
[ .194. ] best quote to sum up love: "Love, the Purest Form of Suicide"
[ .195. ] so what is your bf/gf/crush like: I dont think I'm crushing right now
[ .196. ] do you have a picture of him/her: No crush
[ .197. ] please post it if you do: Umm...
[. 198. ] do you have a picture of yourself: Yup..
[ .199. ] please post it if you do:
[ .200. ] do you go by looks or personality: personality looks are just a bonus
[ .201. ] ever kiss a friend: Nope
[ .202. ] are you still friends: Um yeah?
[ .203. ] so moving along do you smoke: Not anymore
[ .204. ] do you smoke weed: Nope
[ .205. ] ever trip on acid: Hell no...
[ .206. ] how about a little x: Nope..
[ .207. ] crack, heroin, anything else: No
[ .208. ] beer good or beer bad: Bad...eww
[ .209. ] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: nope Im the sissy who doesnt drink at all
[ .210. ] do you like smirnoff ice:nope
[ .211. ] prefer beer or liquor: None
[ .212. ] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: Used to smoke whatever Cigs I got my hands on..
[ .213. ] have you ever drank Hypnotic: Nope
[ .214. ] if yes, when was the last time you got some: NEVER
WOULD YOU EVER
[ .215. ] bungee jump: FUCK YES
[ .216. ] sky dive: HELL YES
[ .217. ] swim with dolphins: HELL YES
[ .218. ] scuba dive: YUP
[ .219. ] go rock climbing: FUCK YES
[ .220. ] eat shit for $1,000,000: Depends on who's shit lmao jk...hell no
[ .221. ] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: FUCK NO AND WHOEVER DOES IS A BIG DUMB BITCH
[ .222. ] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: Hells no
[ .223. ] cross-dress: Um Idk lmao
[ .224. ] lie to the police: DAMN PIGS
[ .225. ] run from the police: Fuck yes
[ .226. ] lie to your parents: On occasion
[ .227. ] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: Umm I dont know
[ .228. ] be an exotic dancer: Um no..would you?
[ .229. ] walk out of a restaurant without paying: Oh that's fun...
[ .230. ] streak: No but I would watch someone hott do it..
YOUR FRIENDS
[ .231. ] best friends: Amanda, Bekah, Chrissy
[ .232. ] known longest: Chrissy...
[ .233. ] wish you talked to more: Bekah
[ .234. ] wish you saw more: Bekah and Chrissy
[ .235. ] how many friends do you think you have: A SHIT LOAD
[ .236. ] who drives you insane after a while: No one
[ .237. ] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: Bekah
[ .238. ] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': Umm no...
[ .239. ] craziest: Bekah Baby Boo Boo
[ .240. ] loudest: Bekah Baby Boo Boo
[ .241. ] shyest: Chrissy
[ .242. ] best hair: Amanda
[ .243. ] can always make you laugh: Bekah, Manda, and Chrissy
[ .244. ] best eyes: BEKAH
[ .243. ] best body: Umm...Chrissy...I would say Bekah's but I've never seen Bekahs lol...Hell I'll put her anywayz
[ .246. ] most athletic: Bekah...that I know of, the other two are lazy asses
[ .247. ] sex symbol: I dont know...
[ .248. ] hot tempered: Chrissy
[ .249. ] most impatient: Bekah
[ .250. ] shortest: Umm donno
[ .251. ] tallest: Donno
[ .252. ] talented: All of them
[ .253. ] best singer: I dont know
[ .254. ] skinniest: Amanda
[ .255. ] nicest: All three of those weirdos
[ .256. ] best personality: All of them
[ .257. ] biggest drug user: all of us
HAVE YOU EVER
[ .258. ] flashed someone: Nope
[ .259. ] told a person how you felt bout them: Yes
[ .260. ] been to michigan: Was supposed to
[ .262. ] gone to jail or juvi: Not yet
[ .263. ] skateboarded: Tried
[ .264. ] skinny dipped: Nope
[ .265. ] stolen anything: HELL YEAH I'M MEXICAN
[ .266. ] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: FUCK YES
[ .267. ] kicked someone's ass: Yes
[ .268. ] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: Yes
[ .269. ] broke a beer bottle: Yes
[ .270. ] gotten into a bar, under-aged: Yes
[ .271. ] kissed someone of the same sex: IM HALF GAY HERE
[ .273. ] gone on a road trip: SORDA
[ .274. ] gone on vacation without adult supervision: NOT YET
[ .275. ] been to a concert: YES
[ .276. ] been to another country: MEXICO
[ .278. ] got pulled over: Nope
[ .279. ] got in a car accident: Yes
[ .280. ] broke a law: Yes
[ .281. ] given money to a homeless person: Yes
[ .282. ] tried to kill yourself: MANY TIMES not that I'm proud of it...
[ .283. ] cried to get out of trouble: YES WATER WORKS
[ .284. ] kissed a friend's brother or sister: Nope
[ .285. ] kissed a brother or sister's friend: Nope
[ .286. ] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways?: Umm..no
[ .287. ] what do you think about pop music: Eh...
[ .288. ] about boy bands: Eh...
[ .289. ] about flag burning: *Shrugs*
[ .290. ] of the war on terrorists: Go America..but not really
[ .291. ] about suicide: *Sighs softly*
[ .292. ] about people who try to force their opinions on you: MYRA WILL KICK MY ASS....
[ .293. ] about abortion: THAT'S A LIVING ORGANISM...NO...
[ .294. ] about rock/metal music: Cools
[ .295. ] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: Behind Kenny's and Bekahs house living in a Card board box
[ .296. ] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Bekah, Amanda, and Chrissy
WHAT DID YOU DO
[ .297. ] last birthday: Hung with the Family
(.298. ) yesterday: Escaped the Super Bowl with Lindsey and Amanda and took wild and crazy pictures
[ .299. ] last weekend: MY MEMORY DOESNT GO THAT FAR BACK
[ .300. ] christmas: Family
[ .301. ] thanksgiving: Family
[ .302. ] new year's: Family
[ .303. ] halloween: Stayed home
[ .304. ] easter:Dont remember
[ .305. ] valentine's day: Dont remember
THE LAST
[ .306. ] thing you ate: Cookies
[ .307. ] thing you drank: Water
[ .308. ] thing you wore: Jeans and Kurt Cobain shirt
[ .309. ] place you went: School
[ .310. ] thing you got pierced/tattooed: My ears
[ .311. ] person you saw: Friends
[ .312. ] person you kissed: No one yet
[ .313. ] person you fucked: VIRGIN
[ .314. ] person you talked to: FRIENDS
[ .315. ] song you heard: These days by Rascal Flatts
[ .316. ] what are you eating: Nothing
[ .317. ] what are you drinking: Nothing
[ .318. ] what are you wearing: Jeans and My beloved Kurt Shirt
[ .319. ] any shoes on: My DCs
[ .320. ] hat: Not one right now
[ .321. ] listening to: Rascal Flatts "These days"
[ .322. ] talking to anyone: Lisha...she's angry I think
[ .323. ] are you pissed i made this so long: Eh...
Y or N
[ .324. ] are you a vegetarian: Nope
[ .325. ] do you like cows: Yes
[ .326. ] are you a butch: Umm not really
[ .327. ] are you artistic: Yes
[ .328. ] do you write poetry: Yes
[ .329. ] are you a fast runner: No
[ .330. ] can you ski: Nope
[ .331. ] are you british: "OH YES" Said the Mexican
[ .332. ] do you want to spear britney: On the boobs to see if they leak or pop lmao
[ .333. ] do the voices talk to you: Why yes, yes they do
[ .334. ] did you ever give barbie a haircut: Hell yes, more like a buzz cut
[ .335. ] would you eat mac & cheese with hot dogs in it: NO
[ .336. ] do you think disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland: Yes
[ .337. ] are you straight: YES but not really shh...
[ .338. ] are you stupid, insane, and another physically handicapped: YES
(.339.) are you nice: On Occasion
[ .340. ] are you naughty: When necessary lol
[ .341. ] are you short: Nope
[ .342. ] are you tall: Yes
[ .343. ] do you own a hot pink shirt: No
[ .344. ] how about orange pants: NOPE
[ .345. ] can you see the flying monkeys: Yes, Can you?
[ .346. ] are you evil: I'M THE ESSENCE OF EVIL ITSELF GAWSH!
[ .347. ] did you ever know someone who had a mullet: Nope
[ .348. ] is britney a whore: YES
[ .349. ] are you a teenage zombie: YES
[ .350. ] am i annoying you?: YES
[ .351. ] do you like marilyn manson: Yes
[ .352. ] are you secretly from another planet: Umm...
[ .353. ] did you ever touch someone else's private parts: YES
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
[ .354. ] said you hated someone: A LONG ASS TIME AGO...
(.355.) cursed: FUCK
[ .356. ] told someone you loved them: EVERYDAY ALL THE TIME
[ .357. ] Got into a fight: 1st grade, what can I say? I'm a Mexican
THE END
[ .358. ] what time is it: 5:16q p.m.
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| I thought the day was over... |
[06 Feb 2005|08:50pm] |
Alright, so I'm on the phone with Kenn. (Another person who's trying to help me over come Heartache) I thought I was done updating. But then I started thinking. I miss her. And it makes me sick to my stomache that the pain she's caused me, now and in the past doesnt hurt that much now that she's gone. I dont know what it is.
I feel semi better. I miss her, there's no denying that. But I have to move on. I have to. I have to force myself to take a step foward not two steps behind. She's a memory now, a Good one. I will always Cherish what we had together, I will bury that in my heart. I will trash the bad, and forget it ever happened. But those memories are bitter sweet. They'll haunt me when I open my book of thoughts, my book on the past and all the good in it. They will fill me. I will inhale the aroma of those memories, and they will intoxicate me. They will overwhelm me with joy and at the same time Kill me with pain.
This is just another chapter in my life that was just finished being written. I look ahead, and walk slowly towards what my destiny holds. I'll be cautious, but I wont close myself up to nothing. I just pray she does the same. I pray someday we cross paths again, and I pray someday She'll be better than how she is right now. I pray I'll be better than how I am right now....
I'll take a breathe and walks ahead....
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